How can you look the dog in the eyes ever again? Every time you call his name, he wallows in shame. You've banished him to the lowest level of dog name hell - you've named your Lab "Blackey."
Any four-year-old can explain that a dog's name should reflect something about him - the way he looks, the way he acts, what he likes to eat… something. So most four-year-olds will take the next most obvious step - naming a black dog Blackey... or Smokey... or something equally inane.
The thought that so many grown adults were not able to muster more creativity could undermine our society's basic faith in democracy. So let's hope that the over-abundance of such uninspiring monikers is the work of children - parents' having left the honor of naming the family pet to junior or sissy.
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